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shadow1. i have hipster headphones. koss, the retro looking kind you can fold up. they’re very comfortable, provide excellent sound and also work well as ear muffs. and they are very, very obvious.

this makes them perfect for eavesdropping.

i almost always wear them when i’m in some kind of public transport. quite a lot of the time, however, i’m not actually listening to anything but the conversations around me. collecting accents and inflections, phrases, gestures. puzzle pieces. melding in my head to become something new – someone new.

(sometimes i’m just secretly laughing at people, though. or listening to one song on repeat repeat repeat. currently this)

2. the summer i was turning fifteen my mum let me take the train alone to go stay with my godmother in her house in the woods. 990 kilometres north, on my own. i had a new top with a flocked mandala print, a bag of cheetos and ava adore. staring out the window, watching the sky get bigger and bigger and bigger, the trees taller, the people and houses fewer and farther between. falling asleep on the shoulder of the boy in the next seat (on his way to military service) and waking up to find he didn’t mind. didn’t mind at all.

(realisation: i don’t have to be anything i don’t want to be. and the reverse: i can be anything i want to be)

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