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candlesometimes it’s difficult to trust your own vision. i mean, i know What I Like and what i think is good and what makes me feel good, but sometimes i’m not entirely convinced that i’m not crazy (i’m not rich enough to be eccentric. yet.) and then i start thinking that maybe people are just Humouring Me and maybe i’m not really even half as brilliant as i think i am.

this leads to ideas abandoned and projects left half-finished. and bouts of very Intense and Focused gaming. and the consumption of very many bags of sour cream and cheese hearts.

and then i get an unexpected compliment from somewhere. or then i do the chaos/order thing again and rediscover things i’d almost forgotten, and i look at them with new eyes and think did make that? damn. i’m good.

i thought i’d try to skip that middle step, this year. (well, except for the occasional bout of very intense and focused gaming. and the sour cream and cheese hearts. a girl has to have some vices, i think? (oh, shush, you.)) see things through on the first go without the doubt and minor angsting, and not decide it’s a disaster in advance.

it’s going fairly well this far. wish me luck?

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